“All they ever do is nag me. Nag nag nag.” The number of times I said that about my parents when I was growing up is unbelievable. It seemed to me that my parents just kept pointing out the things that were wrong. I left my clothes on the floor, I didn’t wash my plate up. They seemed to completely miss that I had spent the entire day at school and then come home and spent two hours doing homework. That’s how we are sometimes with people, particularly with people we love. And actually, I guess, I could only see the things I believed my parents were doing wrong. I too missed the fact that they had been out at work all day long, and then come home and washed and cooked for me. When it comes down to it both my parents and I were pretty rubbish at encouraging each other. Paul has spent most of this letter telling the guys in Rome what to change and finally, he is getting towards the end and he says “oh by the way, actually you are doing pretty good.” A friend of mine gave me a better way of delivering criticism. When you look at someone, think of them with one of those life bars above their head. You know the type of thing you see in a computer game. You have to make sure that their life bar is full before you give them constructive criticism. You have to give them ten energy packs of encouragement so their life bar is full. Then and only then can you give them one bomb of constructive criticism. Only when you encourage them ten times beforehand, will the bomb not destroy them. So remember ten to one and they will live.
